Part 5- two plus two is Donghae and anything else I can think of

My very first fanfic to read... was terrible. Maybe not, but it gave me second thoughts about joining the fanfic community. But, if it wasn't it wasn't for this fanfic I wouldn't see all the things I do now. I'm going to call this story the "BIG BOTTLE OF CLICHE." Because that was what that story was. From rape, to gangs, and a WHOLE FUCKING LOT of highschool drama, this story was out of control.

And the worst part was, it didn't make sense. There are two different types of doesn't make sense. First is the story not making sense as a whole. People doing one thing and saying another. The basic chapters just not fitting together. That happens when authors forget what they wrote and write something else that goes against it. Then there is the goes-against-the-laws-of-science doesn't make sense. I think we all know what that is...

*cough*

thathugeamountofdebtcausinggangsterstofollowyouaroundandyougetsoldformoneyandturnintoasexslaveANDTHEREARENOCHILDSERVICESANYWHERETOHELPANDOHMYGODSUNWHATABOUTBAILOUT?

*cough*

What?

I think the story would have actually made me HAPPY for its EPICNESS if things were correct. I'll start with the little things and work my way up.

School

By far the most boring place we can think of other than an old folks home. For some reason we faze out of school and most of the things that happen to us just fly over our heads. The things that happen to us in school mean absolutely nothing for the most part. It is the greatest place we can socialize with friends, but other than that, our attention is fully devoted to our studies, or lack of.

So why are we forgetting that?

We can't just go to school and expect a teacher to not punish us for not doing the work. In fact, Korean school systems are very strict about late work. Even more so, strict about tardies. If you enter those gates after school has already started be prepared to run laps. And students don't ride a bus to school, at least a yellow school bus. They'll ride local city buses, a train, a bike, maybe get a lift, but they sure as hell won't park at school. They can't even get a license until they are like... 20 years old.

There are prep classes for all the students, especially the ones taking college exams. The amount of homework students have is breathtaking. Students are also involved with things. Clubs, events, social activities, sports, all these things fill up the free time of your supposed lolly gagging students. Believe it or not, free time is used on important things. I actually believe the authors that say they have too much school work going on because that is completely true. Students work, and good amount of work they do.

Jobs

No matter how much you want to pass of your character as a super smart there are some physical barriers stopping them from finishing a project in one night. They can shave off maybe a week from their fancy smancy expensive new project, but they'll still be working for a while. Nobody can finish something presentable so quickly, it defies the laws of science. Research, organization, revision, and maybe a a finalization of their work. It will take forever to get all of that done. Jobs are a greater step higher than school. Things actually count, you can't just pass it off as late work and hope the grade will be made up later. Failure to complete actual work will get you fired! But we always need a two week notice before being fired or quitting or something along those lines.

The mafia/ gangs and the police that go with them

They are cold blooded and won't hesitate to kill you for making them fairies. Gangs are diverse things. From smart to stupid, there are always those that make a difference. Their weapons are diverse as well. Guns, knives, pipes, tranquilizers, rope, switchblades, bats, fists, chairs, tables, doors... These ruthless men can pretty much use anything as a weapon, I know I can.  They won't stop because you tell them to, they'll only do that if they get bored. They're attention spans are short, so they'll get tired of pumbling people quickly.

The leaders aren't as stupid as their underlings. They'll know the police procedures. There are so many things the police can't do to get them arrested. It is pretty hard to gather evidence to pin on someone. Did we think real life was action shows.

Of course that would be boring to read, but the littlest thing sets of readers. There is always that one reader that looks at the story and says you were just writing a bunch of crap. I'm all for wild and out there, when I am not yelling at my screen about the author being stupid.

You just got shot in the CHEST. You are in the hospital unconscious. You wake up about four hours after getting shot. The doctors WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STAY IN THE HOSPITAL that very same day. You are sent home that afternoon with no complications with your breathing or organs, the only thing is you can't walk. Later that night you start walking again.

You would be dead in real life, don't even try me with a fic. I drop and go.

YOUR STORIES AREN'T MAKING SENSE! I'm not going into that whole supernatural part, I mean straight up 3 + 7 = Junsu

For just one moment look at your story and tell me that would happen!

Those celebrities that are on the news everyday, in every magazine and being twitted about every second. Those that have stalkers and can't do a thing without being splashed on every front page! How are they going around and being so secretive in your story? Make your hiding better. Take the time to make a disguise, and please stick with it. Get that manager hyung out and protect our idols!

Yo foo~ get your poor bitching ass to the market! All those poor kid stories with the main character or idol being poor is sadly over done, and worst of all, never done right. I think I would love to read one that actually made sense. I don't know how these people are racking up these debts since they are never explained, but there are some things that will never get understood. These poor kids are working all night and managing to ace test, when they shouldn't even be in school. I'm surprised I haven't read more stories about drop outs and kids on the streets. Keeping your pride as a good person? You lost all my respect when your 14 year olds were having sex.

Sex does sadly lead to pregnancy, and in some cases, mpreg. It's come to my attention that high school and college students really do have sex all the time. That doesn't apply to everyone, but everyone knows a good bit of sex terms. High school guys sadly do talk about sex all the time, and girls talk about it just as much. In almost all the fics the girls are weak and have no back bone. Why?

I'm not a real radical feminist, but why? Why aren't the girls the dominant ones in the relationships? Why do we need to be protected? Just another perspective since I'm tired of reading the stories where guys risk their lives and they're almost killed protecting the girls. I'm pretty sure all those girls out there in dance or track or whatever have a pretty mean punch. Pepper spray, crotch kicks, rape alarm. We have a lot of things to protect us from those predators out there.

The psychological damage of getting bodily harmed does not go away with a bucket of ice cream, I don't think so at least, I'll have to try that one day. Things are encrypted into our minds forever. We never really forget those traumatic things. Car crashes, bombings, being frisked at an airport, fire, earthquake, there are a great magnitude of things that can mess with our heads, and I haven't even gotten to character death yet.

Characters come and go. They serve their purpose and we forget about them. It's okay to have a character there just to die, just don't make them that important. Why would the extra be more important than one of the members in a group? That just doesn't make sense. Can you tell I am rambling because I lost my train of thought about one paragraph in?

How easy is it to buy plane tickets? Book a flight six months in advance, can't get a ticket on holidays, we should think about that for a second. I'm a pretty well rounded person and I can tell you those are not the proper procedures for riding a train. Unattended bag! *Woah, what just escaped me? What have I been smoking?*

And these things aren't really uncommon things that I wouldn't believe. On my own international flight during the winter holidays security was amped up because of the underwear bomber. Russia's security scared the shit out of me! A Russian woman barked at my face for my ticket and patted me down... I wasn't the only one, but it was so scary because it was just a few days after the attempt. My own mother literally just walked into our house one day and asked me for a hug because there was a shooting on my sister's college campus and she was right next to the shooter. *You might have heard about it...* I had a classmate that started school 8 months pregnant as a fresh fish.

So all these things are super real AND VERY INTERESTING TO READ, but people have trouble keeping their stories straight and following through with their actions. With suspense parts in a story things really need to be elaborated more and there needs to be more of a feel for actual terror and fear. Why are we scared? What makes this scary? How serious is this situation really?

Romances deal with REAL feelings that we have all felt... most of us have felt. *I sure as hell haven't yet* But I do understand that we get back up easily in most cases. Maybe for one day we feel sad and we skip lunch in a silent self destructive way, but most of the time we are fine by the end of the week. I am saying with the emotions most stories SHOW that is the process the love birds should be going through. I don't often find a story that makes me feel like there is a real platonic love going on. Use more descriptive words. I can't really give you an example so good luck with that. If I think of some later I'll let you know, maybe.

And comedies should never use stupid things to be funny. In real life yeah, we laugh at the dumb jokes, but in stories they need to be WITTY. For some reason we can't transfer jokes well through writing. That is the reason the sarcastic characters always win.

I'll try to get back on track because I have been writing this over a period of two weeks, whenever I felt like I had nothing to do. All you authors need to double check what is going on in your story. Don't contradict anything you have said before like the person doesn't like a certain fruit and they had that fruit flavored ice cream on a date. We should keep these things in check.

Some tips to keeping your story correct, because I can't make sense myself without doing it this way.

1. Reread the story, simple as that. If you are writing something go back so you can tell where you are going. Just writing this I have been rereading it every time I come back because I have been going off track from stress. Take this time to edit things and revise other things. Also, check with your story. You can always go back and reread something in the middle of writing a chapter. In one of my stories I was on chapter 50 and I was going back to chapter 13 to check on something I wasn't sure about. Besides looking to see if things are going together you can also see how your writing style has changed. You might not be aware, but you make rules to follow. It might be about chapter lengths or just never starting a sentence with the same word you ended the last one WITH. WITH rereading... you got the picture.
2. make a list of details, it can be a number format like this, something easy to go back and check for anything, keep things organized for you.
3. have someone else read your story as well (I'm not comfortable with my parents or actual friends in real life reading my stories so I just ask my readers if anything is wrong, that is perfectly fine as well.)
4. do some research (no one LIKES doing research, but sometimes it is necessary. One of my readers got mad of me for misusing Lolitas. She said I wasn't portraying them correctly and actually told me to look them up. She was completely right to tell me that I was wrong. I did research all about Lolitas. I wasn't that far off, but there were some things I missed about the fashion and I fixed it later on in the story. When I had to write about a wedding I researched online the different things that go with it. I've been to weddings SEVERAL times but it was much more correct after looking up anything I had forgotten. )
5. provide explanations throughout the story so even you know what is going on. If you forget something you can go back and read those things. You can even take those important details and put them in a list. (Hmm, I think I've heard this before, if something is repeated it is important)
6. repeat things so that readers can catch things. If they do you can make it part of the story or correct your mistakes
7. talk or act things out. I did this all the time when I first started writing some even number of years ago. I  would go around my house just TALKING TO MYSELF all the time. Sad as it was, I was able to actually see a scene and write it with more details from actual experience other than my imagination. By doing or saying things yourself you can see what could and couldn't happen. By doing your own pretend fight you can tell how hard it is to hurt some one or how difficult it is to recover.
8. Ask someone if you don't know. Ask friends about their dates, teachers about history, science, even just social behavior, ask parents about parenting and how to take care of things around the house, ask about how to actually make kimchi. Ask the Korean lady that lives two blocks down about Korea. Just ask someone about what they know, you might actually like learning what they have to say.
9. Use what you know. If you are suffering from clinical depression and writing is the way you go through it then go ahead, make a J.K. Rowling of yourself. That is pretty much how she made Harry so amazing in the fifth book. You're in dance? Failing? Fallen in love? Have a debt? Poor? Immigrant? Your brother or sister did drugs? Write what you know. From real experiences we can add things that other people wouldn't exactly know or think about. Just in this I've given enough examples. My sister was in a shoot out and she has had her fight with drugs and a sad case of an ambulance, my classmate was pregnant, I am a student, I have flown on planes, I've been in fights and gotten punished before, my dad is from another country, I've been discriminated against, the guys in my art class are sexist man whores. Doesn't it seem like I know what I'm talking about.
10. Use what you learn. I swear I was so happy this week. Other than seeing some dude with SNSD on his backpack and having a writing assignment about heroes, (who wouldn't think of Jaejoong, or hetalia for that matter?) I also got a brilliant idea for a story. We were in class talking about how oxygen and stuff makes us old and I totally solved a problem for a fanfic I plan on writing. I was so pleased about learning something in school for once. In another class my teacher was talking about economies and society and I totally went dystopian happy. I spent the entire class not really taking notes, but writing my story in my head. If we use what we are taught we can write about so many different things. Honestly, before that I didn't think I could write a proper dysfunctional society story. Also, when we make things up from notes or what people tell us it will be accurate and fresh in your mind.

We understand, yes? Make sure your stories make sense. Think for ONE SECOND about the number of new students you get everyday. What is the possibility for a different one to come in every day of a week? Who really falls in love from knowing someone for only one day. *That's not the same as love as first sight. This is meeting a person and already having serious complicated emotions that logically shouldn't be there.* We don't need gimmicks for every chapter. Don't make up pointless things to keep us around. I'd rather have one plot that a thousand. Why would a horror story need romance? Hasn't anyone seen Prom Night? *HA HA HA, nostril guy! It wasn't a good movie...*

Another wonderful thing my teacher has said. "Why was the title of the book you are reading so?" Why indeed?

Let's keep to the story and not go around making things crazy and stupid. Don't turn into a "BIG BOTTLE OF CLICHE." We don't need those anymore.