Finally, the part of the rant I wanted to do from the beginning- mostly SHINee cliches! So shawols, remember I am better than you and this is completely valid. This little DeviL doesn't care if anything I say is wrong because I am clearly right. So there.
40) Onew's obsession with chicken- CLICHE AND ILLOGICAL!
If Onew ate chicken all the time he would be fat. End of story, there. Save the chicken instead man. Stop the chicken genocide! Even if there are more chicken than there are humans, that doesn't make chicken killing right. Come on. Adopt a family of chicken and save them. Buy a pet chick, name it Hamtaro, and raise it safely as a pig.
No, he is always eating chicken. For breakfast, midmorning snack, lunch, midafternoon snack, afternoon snack, dinner, dessert, afterdinner snack, bedtime snack, midnight snack, and in his sleep.
And that bitchy Diva Key is always cooking for him, like they have the time to cook and eat at all.
No, he never gets fat, even though chicken is usually cooked in ways that make it unhealthy and bad for the skin. None of SHINee ever get fat!
Chicken is used as a way to control Onew, like he is so obsessed that threatening to not feed him chicken will actually bend him to your will. What a fucking joke.
This man's obsession with chicken is portrayed worse than my obsession with Jaejoong's cat.
It is just so overdone, exaggerated, and annoying. If I review stories with Onew's obsession with chicken I would have the right mind to start them off from a fifty, right there. That is how stupid OnChicken is.
If I wrote about Onew and Chicken he would die from clogged arteries and they would do surgery on his body to remove the fat rolls before they did the wake.
41) Denial- cliche? (wtf is this Maria?)
I suppose she means the whole-
'Do I love him? Of course not! I just find his smile so intoxicating and the way he strokes my pussy so satisfying. He is always there for me, I don't love him! He is a jerk, a bastard, a fucktard! I hate him!'
Two hours later.
"I love you, I love you! Fuck me harder! I love you!"
What a stupid circle. I've heard of the thin line between love and hate, but this is so stupid. Can't there be some smarter girls out there that realize they love their man? Idiots.
OR did Maria mean the gays never admit they are gay because coming out is really hard to do?
42) Keyva- CLICHE
Such a stuck up and selfish person, who wouldn't hate him? Fashionista? Ha, not with half your head shaved off! Always a bitch to people, how does he have friends? Just a complete Diva and he does whatever the fuck he wants and gets away with it.
Well fuck that. Key is not a complete diva.
There are different traits to Key that people forget or never remember to combine together
- Diva
- naggy
- like a mother
- likes fashion
- dances girl groups songs well
- loves Yoogeun
- is not gay for Jonghyun no matter how many JongKey there are
- is actually a little shy and insecure
Key being a Diva is so annoying that I absolutely will not read a fic with Keyva in it. Nor will I with him being motherly, or being extremely shy.
Not unless there is a combination of the three that give some depth to his character and doesn't make his stereotype so cliche.
So abused!
43) Nothing to do after school- illogical
I've done something along these lines at least five times already!
Alright, get a job, do homework, watch tv, hang with friends, don't go to the arcade, study, clubbing is not allowed, malls are for people with social lives. Please get a life.
44) Jonghyun is a whore- CLICHE
Just because he has a girlfriend now everyone suddenly makes him a sex fiend and he is always so sexual. Always, he is always the person that is like "Let's get our fuck on!"
Or "God, I am so sexy!"
Well go fuck yourself Jonghyun, I hope you get STDs in these fics and give them to your girlfriend!
45) Truth or Dare/Spin the bottle- cliche
These games are always in fics! Especially party fics when everyone gets together in order to fuck.
"I dare you to kiss ____!" I blushed! I've never kissed anyone before! What do I do? My innocence will be stolen! But he is so handsome, I actually want to! He leaned over to me and licked his lips in anticipation. Oh my gosh, what will I do! *smooch* His kiss feels so overpowering, I might faint!
Well whoopie fucking do, I've never had my first kiss, and trust me, I would not react like that. A kiss is a kiss and holds no importance to me. Really, nothing done during truth or dare should stir up feelings like that. Your friends should stop when they know you get too uncomfortable and will understand you don't want to do something.
Nobody plays spin the bottle anymore! I have never in my life heard of a party when it was played. I mean, at lunch we spun a bottle and joked about kissing the other, but it was funny because nobody even attempted to kiss anyone. It is so ridiculous, this stereotype cliche game that nobody plays.
Party games I know of for Koreans- the 3.6.9 game where people say all the numbers except for 3,6, and 9. On those numbers they clap. The .... manjoo game? Everyone puts their hands into a circle and either open or close it when someone calls out a number. When the number of hands open matches the number called the caller takes their hand out. The person with no hands left wins. Rock paper scissors. There are a lot of games, most end with a punishment for the loser like a flick on the head.
46) 2PM being bullies- illogical?
Once again I don't really know what this is supposed to be, but Maria says that in fics 2PM are often bullies. I suppose, but if it is true, stop following the stereotype!
47) Pink- cliche
Used to describe girly men and women, feminine people all around. Pink bed, pink backpack, pink hair, pink lipstick, pink clothing, pink flowers, pink icing, pink cake, strawberries, pink flowers. SO MUCH PINK!
Liking pink is okay, but using pink as a way to show that she/he is girly is so cliche I hate it. I don't even like pink. Simply, pink has become so overused and is has become the standard for girls. Clothes for girl babies are pink, restroom signs are pink, hearts are pink. Pink is used to represent everything that is female.
Looking around my room there are only a few pink things
- pink crayon
- pink clouds over a dragon
- pink roses in pictures
- pink words in my Jiji sonnet
- pink blanket someone MADE for me when I was a baby
- pink book about the Sexy sex (the literal title is The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex, my sister got it from her boyfriend)
- pink scarf (my sister's)
- pink hello kitty candy wrappers taped to my wall
I'm still clearly a girl even though there is a lack of pink in my life. So there, I've proved pink illogical, and cliche, so stop using it. Especially to describe girly men.
48) Not getting Korean Culture right- illogical
There are a lot of things I could say are wrong, but there are just so many. We'll start off with the honorifics- Oppa, hyung, Noona, and Unnie. If we are going to call someone these names let us get the gender right. Only girls can call an older man Oppa, guys call older men Hyung. Only girls can call an older woman Unnie, men have to call the Noona. I learned of this recently, but you only call them by those names if they are 100 days older than you. So Yunho shouldn't call Jaejoong hyung, ever. Unless it is an AU and their ages are different.
People respect their elders to some extent and don't always act like jerks to their giving parents.
Bowing isn't that hard to do, and people do it all the time as a greeting, for forgiveness, to say goodbye, a form of respect.
Yes, there is always Kimchi, rice, and some meat.
There are just as many atheists as there are Christians or catholics. A lot of Buddhist too.
High school is not compulsory.
There is a lot more, but don't write the American culture and try to pass it off as Korean.
49) Random SHINee in fics- cliche
No, unless it is a shinee fic, keep them out.
They are too popular, overexposed, worse than rebecca black.
50) Shin Se Kyung vs. _____- illogical
What is the point? She has already won! She is dating Jonghyun, it goes against all logic for him to dump her for a _____! It's not like the typical girl used in DBSK fics, Seulgi, she is always in the way, and she is way overused, but it makes more sense for her to not the guy because she isn't actually dating any of the guys. No, Se Kyung is dating Jonghyun, end of story, this shouldn't be an issue.
To throw Se Kyung in is like saying that she wouldn't date Jjong in real life. Don't go against reality like this! Even in a fantasy fanfic. if Se Kyung is already there she should win. That makes so much more sense!
I had a good macro for this, but I'm pretty sure it won't show up, so I won't bother.
No comments:
Post a Comment