Part 16- First Person point of view

The featured fics suck. There are many reasons why (cliche, unplanned, characters are fucked up, events are unrealistic, pov is shit, grammar is cringe worthy...) but I can't think of any right now. Other than the fact that the two featured fics right now are both pretty much the same story (because they are featured and about Jonghyun) they are  both written in first person.

Most fics can not properly write first person correctly. They mess up in these areas-

1. Sentence variation
2. Setting/character description
3. Constant POV
4. Narrator and Author are different entities
5. Thoughts and description are different

Point one is that a lot of sentences in first person point of view start off with I, or my, or we. "I did this, we saw a movie, my hair was like this." Up to this point, the entire rant has been written in first person, but I have not started a sentence with I, my, me, mine at all. Kudos to your for 4minute jokes. Start sentences with different words about different things, not just what the narrator sees and feels.

Authors get so focused on making it a point that this is written from the character's perspective that they start needlessly starting sentences off with I. For example, "I saw him grab a candy bar." Really, this sentence would be more appropriate as "He took a candy bar." If it is important that the narrator sees this and the readers need to acknowledge that fact, add in a filler sentence before or after. "When I saw this I felt hungry."

The second issue is that a lot of times the author thinks that they can't write about something that the narrator doesn't know about. It is perfectly okay to do this! Parts that the narrator are unaware of can be written as long as it is done in a creative and well organized manner. Basically, if the scene changes from where the narrator is, then it can be assumed that the POV temporarily switches to third person. In these cases a different writing style is expected, or lack of emotion and personal feelings.

Also, just because these are the narrators thoughts and feelings, it doesn't mean that the other characters are dolls and don't have any. It is just as important to include what the other characters are doing and thinking, even if the narrator is not aware of what is happening. If other characters are not mentioned, the fic becomes confusing and then more first person shit has to be added. Things just become a first person soupy mess.

Now the third problem is really important. The consistency of the POV. If something can not be written in all one POV then the fic should be written in third person or there should be hypothetical thought processes leading to the other character(s). "Perhaps he is waiting for me by our tree. She'll show up and distract him, make him lose sight of his real prize..." 

THERE IS NOTHING MORE ANNOYING THAN CHANGING POV. 

Don't care what Victoria is doing if the fic started off with Nickhkun, don't care for Jessica if it started with Jaejoong, don't care for Oppa if it started with Dongsaeng. Don't care for G-Dragon if the fic started off with Dara, don't care for ... Jonghyun when _____ is speaking... fuck, I never want to hear _____ speak again.

The fourth hair wrencher is the separation of the narrator and the author. To have a reliable narrator their thoughts and actions need to reflect their character, not the thoughts of the author. Thoughts need to be mature, not "OH MY GOD, HE JUST LOOKED AT ME!" Not, "Does he really think he can get away with insulting me ___ ______?" Try, even if you are fifteen, or twelve, or nineteen, make the character act and sound their age.

First person POV is written with more feelings and personal connections, third person, or essentially the author's writing (never to be marked AUTHOR'S POV because the author is not there and they are not thinking this nor seeing this) should be more descriptive of surroundings and facts, other characters, even things that don't matter like the weather or analogies.

Both POV can be used to convey emotions, third person lacks in the thoughts, first person goes too far into the thoughts. At some point the author somehow puts their own personality into the characters and makes them their perfect avatar. The author and narrator are never the same person, never. The only time they would be is during an autobiography of some sort. 

Last, there is the minor issue of authors mixing up what is thought by the narrator and what is simply there. Like I said before, there needs to be something other than what the narrator is doing right that second. Their history, memories, things going on in another room, constructive brainstorming, all these are not thoughts. Thoughts would be put into the situation they are in right there while these descriptions do not take place in real time. 

Thoughts would be those extra "Oh god"s or "I don't believe it". 

The two are often intermixed so that the description and thoughts are one the same. This happens usually right after a POV change.  Events are written is such a way that the character seems childish. "Oh gosh, he just looked at me, staring right at my body! I stumbled a little, I am such a fool! Is my blush showing? He saw my blush! My heart is splitting."

The thought-like areas were "Oh gosh, he just looked at me, staring right at my body! I stumbled a little, I am such a fool! Is my blush showing? He saw my blush! My heart is splitting." They shouldn't mix up this much without proper indication like italics, apostrophes or so on. 

This sounds really similar to my POV rant from months ago- 1st person means things feelings should be described more in depth because a character as the narrator verses the author should have more of a hold on their own feelings. Struggles, happiness, sadness, even anger should be shown in 1st POV. I'm not saying to put "I am sad because she won't look at me" in every paragraph, but put something that makes it seem like it is actually from their POV and not just you putting "I" instead of their name. 

1st person means that the character is more developed and has deeper thoughts. 1st person shouldn't sound like a diary entry. Most fics the people are in high school right? How did you act in high school? Or how do you act now and add a little maturity to that if you aren't quite there yet. The narrator is supposed to portray someone realistic. By using your own personal experiences and feelings, without making it actually about you, the emotions of the narrator can be natural.

Once again, I don't care about this shithead girl, I only care for my bias. If the ENTIRE fic was written from his POV then I would read it. Another major issue with POV is that it is limited to that character. All female characters can burn in hell for getting married at fifteen in my opinion. Now they guy... he can keep on being sexy. He can be a total jackass douche with his thoughts and I'd still love him to some extent. Sometimes. On occasion. Okay, only if it is Jaejoong. Any other person and the fic gets dropped. La Ha!